Pieces On The Pavement

I want to fall for you blindly
I want to immerse myself in you, pretending I don’t know I will drown
I want to close my mind so I can’t see the future
I want to be oblivious to the thorny crown
I can’t though,
I hate that I know so much
Seeing through you and feeling past your touch
I hate knowing that losing myself in you might result in never finding myself again
I can’t stand how I don’t want that to matter
Laying in the darkness my heart stops beating
Because I’d rather die than realize I could never lie beside you
I can’t fathom accepting that we can’t be
I hate being able to see through you
The idea of falling for you is so breath taking to me
I want to avoid the knee scraping and chest aching
That is sure to follow

I hate being able to see past our smiles into the darkness
Though our light shines brightly there is a shadow that lurks
I want to ignore the feeling in my chest, with each kiss from you it sharpens
I can’t though
I know too much
I know that this is dangerous, detrimental even
But I so desperately want a love that I can believe in
I want it not to matter that it’s only surface love
I want it to be okay that it’s only been a month
But I know it’s been longer than that, I know we are more than that
Yet we are less than that in so many ways
Why can’t I love you recklessly?
I want to love you carelessly, hair in the wind next to you with the world staring
I want to stare back with a stupid grin
Painted with the tears of your girlfriend
But I am better than that.
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t

I hate that I can see right through you. 

(Source: feedmepeace)

HASHEEF

“Which way you going yo?” I asked staring down at the lil’ dude, when it struck me I didn’t know his name. Oh well,  I probably don’t need to I thought as we arrived at the bus stop. “I have to go to some shit out the way, some program. I’m late as hell though. I’m not even sure which bus to catch, I was just gonna ask which bus was going out west bubble fuck.” He said in all seriousness. I couldn’t help but bust out laughing. “Where the hell are you from?” I chuckled. He scrunched his eyes up at me, the sun forcing them into thin slits like that creeped me out. His eyes were like fucking tunnels. I turned away as I uttered an apology, “My bad man, I aint mean to come at you like that. I was just fucking with you. Where you from though?” His gaze softened as he told me he came from Georgia. “I moved up here over some bullshit,” he continued. I noticed he started to shift around uncomfortably so I dropped it. I didn’t care that much anyway. The sun just made the silence more intense. Still we remained silent for a few minutes longer. Looking across the street I spotted this lady screeching down the street smacking the hell out of whoever was in the passenger seat. “Damn, she fucking her up!” I yelled, howling with laughter. The lil dude followed my eyes to the car and joined me in laughter. I stopped laughing and turned back towards him, leaning against the bus stop post I jumped. That fucking pole was hot as hell, damn near scorched my skin! Rubbing my arm I asked “What kind of program you goin out the way for though?” I tried to ask casually to avoid the awkward silence from earlier. I guess the laughter helped him loosen up a lil cause he responded “Man some group shit, my mom got me going cause she think I’m too angry or what the fuck ever. I’m just going so she can leave me the hell alone” My eyes widened in realization, “Oh shit yo, I’m going to some program out the way for the same thing basically. Damn, small world. What you say ya name was?” I knew he hadn’t said but if he going be in my business like I’m sure the group will be I need to know this nigga.

ROMELLO

Fuck this shit, I thought to myself. That bus saw me coming. I tried atleast. Walking down the street doobie in hand, I pat my pockets for a lighter. Finding one I spark up and go straight to my happy place, reaching for my phone to tell Breeze he was my nigga for this fire I see Taylor prancing her lil cute ass down the street. Her golden locks flowing down her back like it was really hers. She stayed with a banging weave I gotta give her that much. “YO TAY!” I shouted after her, jogging up to meet her. Damn it’s hot, and all I got on is a tank top and cargo shorts. I’m met with a scowl and those beautiful big eyes rolling. “What happened to calling me last night?”She snapped. I loved when she got an attitude with a nigga, shit was attractive. The way her pink lips would pout while she waited for me to explain myself. “I had some other shit to do,” I lied ” You know I woulda called if I had the time girl, stop frauding”. “Yea the fuck right boy. Tammy nem told me they saw ya sorry ass running round with Sheef big black ass. So BYE BOY try that shit with the next one” I felt my anger boiling all of a sudden, I don’t like people clocking my where abouts and I damn sure don’t like them reporting shit. “Man fuck that bitch Tammy and her hood rat friends, she don’t know what the fuck she talking bout ard.” I spat. Her mouth formed a perfect O as her eyes widened in shock.” I know you did not just call her a bitch cause yo’ ass aint shit. Oh my Go-o-o-o-o-d, I knew they was all right about light skinned niggas.” Now this bitch was blowing my high. I put the doobie out on the side of a crusty old building and dropped it in my pocket.” Fuckin right I called her a bitch, she a dog head hoe! Matter fact I’m off her. Is you bouta be mad about this shit or is you gone let it go like you should?” I was gettin irritated now and I felt myself about to snap. “I don’t know boy-” I cut her off with a flick of my wrist. I aint got her to do with all them questions and shit, she’ll be over it after I ignore her ass for a couple days. Walking away I can feel her eyes burning a hole through my back but shit, she started trippin not me. Reaching in my pocket I instantly feel better. Maybe today will be aight after this…

(Source: feedmepeace)